bipolar dad

My Today.com MOOD is: I feel good or is it that I’m MANIC?

Bipolar Dad: Good Days or Mania?

In my last post we got a little deep about my baby girl, my two year old who I call “Belly”. That was a long time ago, in terms of my disorder, yet in reality, it was just a year ago. Yet, we will move on for now. I can’t help feeling compelled to tell you the truth about all of me… so I will tend to write about the “Good, the bad, and the ugly!” My wife feels I am too truthful but it just might be a compulsion based on my mood disorder. I can tell you this, it is not always good telling the truth to people when they don’t want to hear it. Needless to say, I have caused a lot of awkward moments… So, if you’re ever shopping for jeans with me and try them on, DON’T ask me if your butt looks fat in them… LOL

Let’s talk about the problem at hand now. I have not slept in about 5 days. I’ve been up all night. The thing is I don’t sleep till I take some meds or I just pass out. This makes me feel like such a worthless father since lately I have not been able to spend much time with my four kids. It is something I like to call the Medication Mambo! In fact, I coined that phrase and even drew a cartoon about it. It will be posted on my cartoon blog ( http://mentalhealthhumor.today.com) It seems to be a good expression since I have already seen other bloggers using it…LOL I’m a trend setter, too, I guess.

What I do to try and avoid the time I miss with my kids when I’m getting my medicated sleep…(Well, remember how I said I am always truthful… I earnestly believe you have to be that way with your kids as well… age appropriately any way.) I sit my kids down tell them how much I love them and that I’m sorry I’ve been off with my sleep. I tell them why I’m up all night and answer their questions. My 9 year old son sometimes says the funniest things. The other day he said, “ya, dad, we know you are up all night because of the happy pills you take!”

Today was hard because I did not fall asleep till 8:30 a.m. and due to my meds I was down till noon. As you would guess, my work is suffering and the stress is building. I just have to make sure that does not roll into my family life. So, now I’m going to stop writing and go hug all my kids since that is the life of this Bipolar Dad.

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